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ADVICE FOR VICTIMS OF SOCIAL MEDIA BULLYING

By Clive Mono Mukundu

Today I want to talk to those who receive hateful & discouraging comments from dedicated social media trolls. Trolls are defined as people who leave intentionally provocative, or offensive messages on your social media platform in order to get attention, cause trouble or upset you. This does not include constructive criticism, although sometimes it’s disguised as such. Have you ever heard of a psychological condition called “Negative social potency”?…read on:

At first, I was angry with my social media haters. I used to ask myself how sad life can one have, to dedicate so much time following someone you hate so that you just post stuff to hurt them?. During the first days, I would feel so drained after reading their hateful comments. At times the comments would gel so much with some of my insecurities, & I would start thinking “Maybe they are right after all”. I have 3 very dedicated legendary haters, who I now suspect to be one person using 3 different ghost accounts. I also strongly suspect that it’s someone I know personally. Every time one of them posts some hateful statements, the other two also comment immediately. By reading some of their comments you can tell that they read & listen to maybe all of my interviews a lot, that’s some serious dedication.

Image: Mono Mukundu, Facebook

One thing that I also learned is that you have to really know who you are, and be confident enough to have self-worth from within. One time one of them said, “You are so irrelevant, that’s why you have such a low followership on YouTube”.And it’s true, of all my social media handles, my YouTube account is the least active. I then had a sort of revelation,& said to myself: for someone who has been running a busy studio for 15 years, who is now the most invited musician to speak at different events, including non-musical events, someone who is the most recorded guitarist in the country & still counting, someone whom the media & arts organizations are always seeking for views & comments, someone who is a mentor to several young musicians, I must be the most irrelevant, but very relevant person at the same time, I don’t invite myself at these events. So I won back my confidence.

I then decided to do research on them & found out that it’s now a recognized international pandemic. It is now recognized by psychologists as a condition, and they call it “Negative social potency”. According to Dr. Mark Griffiths, Professor of Behavioural Addiction at Nottingham Trent University, the patients target either successful people or people who are headed towards success. They target people who are happy, who are enjoying their life because they are not enjoying their lives. So they are bitter people who are not happy with their lives.

So if you have dedicated haters like these, it’s a prophetic sign that you are headed somewhere. In my case, the problem escalated mid-last year when I started getting many invitations to speak at different events. SOLUTION:

So how do you deal with them: First of all you have to remember that tolerating nonsense is not a virtue. Don’t fall for the ‘Be the bigger person’ narrative-BLOCK THEM, period!

This is Mono, God’s favorite hated guitarist, catch you later.

About Constance van Niekerk

Constance van Niekerk, (Connie V) is a creative writer, poet, music lover, spoken word artist, freelance writer, blogger and educator. She has contributed to several anthologies and published her own collection, Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection available for purchase on all Amazon Stores Worldwide. Follow her on Twitter : @convanniekerk Connect with her on Facebook and Linkedin.

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