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Features, Lifestyle, Religion & Spirituality

Help needed

Recently, I had an amazing discussion with one man of God, a friend of mine, Pastor Boikie. The good Pastor opened my eyes to some things that I have never thought of, in my entire life. He started his talk with Genesis 2:18 which says, ‘And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him’ KJV. The CSB says, ‘I will make a helper corresponding to him.’ the key word there being CORRESPONDING. Other versions say SUITABLE. This tells me that it is God who gives wives, as the Bible says, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing.

It is important though that the wife a man finds is the same ‘suitable helper’ that God made for him. When a man finds his suitable helper, he finds his support system. He finds the one who will help him reach his full potential. Like, a Personal Assistant. A personal assistant is in control of the Boss’s diary even though she’s not the boss. See, woman was created for man, Eve had no say. She was created to be a suitable helper…. Understand that every man is different, different strokes for different folks! So, we want men to understand us, but, it’s actually the other way round. We should understand men. We are the helpers. You can not work with a product that you don’t understand. First you understand the language ‘it speaks’, how ‘it works’.

The Pastor explained that men only want 3 things…. 1. Sex (plenty of it). 2. Food. 3. Ego-brushing 😁😁😁😁

When a man is failing in his duties, that’s a sign that his helper is not doing her duty. If he was perfect, why would God create a helper for him? Man is not perfect. What he needs is someone to help him, someone to steer him on the correct path. When he can’t lead, the helper should help him to lead. Someone said, behind every successful man is a helper who understands her duties. Well, isn’t this interesting…. A woman, according to the Bible is a man’s helper. Not slave, not housemaid, a helper….. Suitable helper. If he can’t open up, make him…. Get wisdom to help him. Get wisdom to build him. If he can’t lead, help him lead. If you and him both understand that you are not in competition, but aim to complement each other, I believe you will achieve greatness as a couple.

The good Pastor spoke at length on many issues. He also said wives must not forget to be wives while they’re being mothers. Quite interesting. He also said, “men process things slowly. If you tell him to do something, it might take him two weeks or even months to do it because he has not yet processed the request’ 😁😁 Women need to be patient and understanding. When you as a woman need help to help the one you’re supposed to be helping, you go to God. Why can’t you ask the man to help you? Because you’re his helper, not the other way round!

Everything is worth trying when you want to save your marriage…. Right? The only most important factor is to remember that ‘it takes 2 to tango’. A relationship is a two-way street….

When men misbehave, they’re crying out for help…. ‘help needed’…. Are you a suitable helper?

I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion because for me, it is quite eye-opening. Hope you find these few points useful too.

About Constance van Niekerk

Constance van Niekerk, (Connie V) is a creative writer, poet, music lover, spoken word artist, freelance writer, blogger and educator. She has contributed to several anthologies and published her own collection, Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection available for purchase on all Amazon Stores Worldwide. Follow her on Twitter : @convanniekerk Connect with her on Facebook and Linkedin.


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