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Features, Lifestyle

A visit to the man-cave (part 3)

Constance van Niekerk, SA

We’re now in the Sunshine City, Zimbabwe’s capital city, Harare. There, we’re welcomed into the home of a man I’ll call ‘Patrick’. This is what Patrick had to say,

Of course men have feelings too. However we have been socialised to handle our feelings differently.
Yes, men also get hurt. But men will hide feelings or lash out
But women are also violent themselves

Me: But most perpetrators are men
P: That’s not true, men just don’t report
Men value loyalty more than most things
Men spend all their life trying to please women. It would be nice to get some loyalty in return for me putting themselves out for women
Its men’s primary reason for existence
That’s why we work
That’s why we want to make money
That’s why we dress up
That’s why we buy big cars and houses

Me: To please women? Is it not to compete with each other

P: We don’t compete with each other unless it’s to please a particular woman
Because women do not give loyalty back. Women are easily swayed by thing they themselves will often wonder why they let themselves be swayed by
Besides men don’t want women to be submissive but rather to be loving….loyal whatever the situation

Patrick is clearly not much of a talker, but we hear you loud and clear… He said women just be loyal. Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and lakes you’re used to… Yeah, we off to another city in Zim, the city of Gweru….

We are at a young man’s house, this man we’ll call ‘Paul’…. And this is what transpired in Paul’s man-cave

Paul: Okay l think by nature man don’t complain much and they don’t like to complaint instead of complain they react thus how man are

Me: They react…. Then that’s why we have so much violence in our communities. Right?

Paul: Yes

Me: What can men do to help the situation

Paul: If men loved their wives and wives were submissive to their husbands, I don’t see that we were going to have any problem in this earth

Me: But the wives say that they can’t submit to men who don’t show them love路‍♀ and men say they can’t love wives that can’t submit
Sooooooo…. What’s the way forward

Paul: A man who says that is very wrong
Love is patient my dear they are hiding behind the finger, men who say so

Me: This is quite interesting

Paul: Men must love their wives to get that submission

Me: I hear you hey

Yeah, loud and clear…. This is interesting, while Patrick said that men don’t really want submission but definitely loyalty and love, Paul says what women should do is submit and men should love. Opinions differ, if you also have an opinion you’d like to share, send an email to info.afriquebeat@gmail.com


About Constance van Niekerk

Constance van Niekerk, (Connie V) is a creative writer, poet, music lover, spoken word artist, freelance writer, blogger and educator. She has contributed to several anthologies and published her own collection, Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection available for purchase on all Amazon Stores Worldwide. Follow her on Twitter : @convanniekerk Connect with her on Facebook and Linkedin.


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