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A visit to the man-cave (part 1)

Constance van Niekerk

Wow, this has been quite eye-opening! For the longest time society has revolved around women, and they say it’s a man’s world! 🙂

Let’s digest this slowly, how many of us are aware of International Men’s Day? Yet even a young child at kindergarten knows when it’s International Women’s Day. Some countries like South Africa even have a National Women’s Day too! Alright, you, personally, do you celebrate Fathers’ Day the same way you celebrate Mothers’ Day? Let’s just be honest for a minute. This year Fathers Day coincided with Youth Day in South Africa and all we did was celebrate Youth Day.

What about the ‘take a girl child to work’ initiative? What exactly is the boy doing at home while the girl child goes to work? And when the boy becomes a man, we cry wolf when he doesn’t want to go to work, but is comfortable with the woman working? Let’s just try to be realistic here. The boy has not been taught to provide when he is still young, yet we expect him to just do it because he is now a man…

I’m not here to start a debate or anything, but to conscientize each other of a few facts about men. The first thing the world needs to do is acknowledge that men live among us, yes. They walk among us, they have feelings too. They too need to be groomed from an early age. They too need to be heard and loved, at times even to be protected from us women.. duh… Did you think I was a man? I’m a woman who is tired of us women playing victim all the time. Society is failing when it pushes the boy-child somewhere at the back of the cupboard and the girl-child is given a platform to shine! Society is failing when it says, ‘real men don’t cry’… when it says, ‘man up’! Look around, why are so many men running away from their families? Why are they shying away from commitment? Today’s boy doesn’t have a role model because daddy would rather be as far away from mommy as possible, and the boy-child must now be the man of the house. Honestly speaking, a woman may raise a boy but we can never teach him to be a man, because we are not men. No matter what we say and how we put it across, women are not men. We shouldn’t even be so proud to say, ‘I’m the father, I’m the mother’ we are women, mothers, not God. Just women. If men were not important, God would not have created them.

I repeat, I’m not here to fight but, our homes need leaders, our sons need their fathers. Our communities and marriages need stability. Men are as important as us women…. I have interviewed a dozen men so far and the responses are almost similar, men love women… so, what is the problem? Somebody lied to us, ‘anything that a man can do, a woman can do better’ we are not in competition with men. Men and women complement each other. A woman and another woman cannot make a home, that is not God’s plan.

In my next post, I will begin to unpack all what the men I spoke to were saying. If you would like to be part of this discussion, comment on the post or send an email to info.afriquebeat@gmail.com

Let us make the world a better place for our children, until men and women learn to live together in love and harmony, we have failed as a people. Why are humans constantly at war with each other? If it’s not the battle of the sexes, it’s the battle of the races… the east and the west, the nationals and the foreigners…. Peace!

About Constance van Niekerk

Constance van Niekerk, (Connie V) is a creative writer, poet, music lover, spoken word artist, freelance writer, blogger and educator. She has contributed to several anthologies and published her own collection, Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection available for purchase on all Amazon Stores Worldwide. Follow her on Twitter : @convanniekerk Connect with her on Facebook and Linkedin.


8 thoughts on “A visit to the man-cave (part 1)

  1. Feminism that produces emasculated men is a disservice to women and our society. There is no us and them in human relations. We should be seeking to complement each other….men and women, black and white, protestant and circular, one and the other.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Peter | Dec 2, 2019, 23:03
  2. well you are making a lot of sense. we need each other.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Brian | Dec 4, 2019, 18:45
  3. Very inspiring.. That’s nice my dear…

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by JAPHET MWAKALUKA | Dec 5, 2019, 09:21

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